An Open Letter To Foxton's

Dear Foxton’s

I want to publicly state, for the record, that I think that you are absolute cunts.

Estate agents are, like many other businesses, third parties who muscle in on a pre-existing commercial relationship. It's not unique - recruitment companies do it, advertising companies do it, technology companies. Where there's money being made, why not carve out a chunk for yourself?

However, for such blatant leeching to be widely accepted by the pre-existing customer and client it is implied that the third party will add value to the relationship in some way: provide a unique and useful service, speed things along, add expertise where it's needed.

See, by doing that you justify your place in the middle of the pre-existing relationship. If you can justify your place in the middle of the relationship, then no one will hate you.

Did you notice, Foxton's, that nearly everyone you deal with ends up hating you? I knew this before I got involved with you, and like the fool I am I thought I'd give you the benefit of the doubt. I regret this.

Because, in the case of your business, Foxton's, the only added value that I can perceive is that, for one miserable afternoon whilst flat hunting, I got to ride in a garishly decorated Mini whilst some moron, fresh out of failing his degree and dropping out of the normal rules of meritocratic society, regaled me with pointless small talk.

Yes, that was as good as it got between you and I, Foxton's. And let's be honest. It wasn't good. I thought that guy was a bit of a twat.

Your staff are unhelpful. They are slow to respond. They have bad attitudes. They dress badly. They are obviously stupid. They sound disinterested when you talk to them. They say they'll get back to you and don't.

Your business overcharges for its “services” and then underdelivers. Your business does not treat its customers as human beings.

Your business will do nothing, literally nothing, above and beyond the bare minimum required to ensure the collection of its fee. That, right there, is a shitty business.

Your business, a third party leech remember, is so blatantly concerned with profit and profit alone that it has neglected to remember the all-important trade off required when leeches get involved in pre-existing commercial relationships in the first place.

That is the aforementioned: add value.

Add some fucking value.

Add some fucking value.

I challenge you, as a business, to live up to the desperate needs of the rental property market. Provide some much needed thought and care in your service. Provide a tonic to the bullshit landlord dominance of the rental situation. Provide an alternative to the epidemic overcharging for your services. Provide some training to your staff, who desperately need it.

Do this, and I will love you.

Please, stop being such a bunch of cunts.

Yours sincerely

Phil Haslehurst